Well I kissed and hugged sweet Sophie good-bye when my mom and dad arrived that morning at 6:30am. Mom was waiting in the car for me so we could make our way to Methodist for the surgery. One that had been on the back burner for way too long because of Sophie and Aiden's health issues. But, now that my GI Doctor had cut me off of all Anti-Inflammatory drugs because my stomach has been torn to shreds, it was time to make a decision. It's not like I can be on pain medicine for the rest of my life, and I have been on it for way too long... It was sad to say good-bye to Sophie knowing that the last time she had heard the term "surgery" it was she who was going under the knife. Petrified, my little one was up at 5:45am to be sure she could see Mommy before I left. I assured her that the kind of surgery I was having wasn't to "find out what it is", but rather we already know what it is because of the fancy pictures I had shown her on the MRI, and that my surgery was so I could walk better and have less pain. She acted like she was all right with that, so with a tight squeeze, I was out the door.
The ride to the hospital was by far one of the longest I had EVER had. The preop instructions forbade me from taking my pain meds or eating or drinking anything past midnight. After review of the preop instructions, I also noticed something VERY disturbing. There seemed to be some debate on whether they were operating on my right or left side of the L5-S1 disc. I definitely wanted to get that cleared up ASAP!!! I thought I distinctly remembered them saying LEFT, and since that's where the majority of my pain has been, I had to make certain to clear that up. During the painful drive there (NPO after midnight, remember) I felt every bump, every jerk of the wheel, every stop light... Excruciating! The good news is that my sainted mother drove me to the hospital and stayed there for what was probably a gut wrenching day for her, and the pain I was in also quite literally drove home the need for the surgery. When we got to the check in desk, we were pointed to the preop room where I was told by the nurse there that I could have had the pain med after all! WHAT??? Ugh! I asked if I could have one to take the edge off while we waited. I was the second surgery of the day. She said yes, and that she was so sorry that the pre-op group hadn't explained this. I downed the medicine with a tiny wallow of water and started to feel a little better and had a short siesta.
Just then there was a knock on the door. It was anesthesia. A nice young woman walked in to get a brief history on me and before she could start her spiel, I said, "There's one big question mark here. Is it Left or Right???" She assured me with a blank stare, that I would have a chance to talk to the Neurosurgeon BEFORE I was cut on, so I listened to her. She was a bit perplexed herself and I did notice her looking through the file where she saw that the word "right" had been written repeatedly. She told me that she just did the anesthesia side, but would voice my concern. I felt a bit like a child getting a pat on the head at that point... Could someone PLEASE answer this question?? Ugh
The transport team walked in as anesthesia was wrapping up, and said, "They're ready for you!", to which I said, "nobody's cutting on me without knowing what side... MMMkay!!!???" Just about that time, the doctor rounded the corner and said, "I know you", trying to be clever. I said, "Good to see you, Doc, could you PLEASE tell me what side you're cutting on? There seems to be some confusion on the paperwork!". He then pulled out an index card that said, "Morgan, L5-S1, Left", and showed it to me. He then asked, "what side is the pain on?" and I said "BOTH". He then said, "Well if the pain is on both, doing a discectomy on the left only won't help much, will it? What did the consent say that you singed?" I replied, "I thought it said Right" but then I explained that I thought that the resident that was with him that day I came for my office visit said Left Side L5-S1! " He then directed the transport staff to wheel me back into the room to wait some more. He said that he would get to the bottom of it. He was IRRITATED at the nursing staff that hadn't properly prepared the forms. He told us he would go prepare new forms and would go look closer at the MRI. Upon his return, he said, it's definitely a LEFT L5-S1 herniation, and it's a BIG DISC," and he went further to explain that it was large enough and could very well be causing the bilateral pain I've been having. He then took hid sharpie out and marked on my skin where he would operate.
So, new consents were hastily signed and they rolled me in to get the IV installed and I was sure we were almost there. Someone asked, "is 10 ready?" and they yelled yes and pushed me down through Dunn Tower OR to room 3. I saw all the docs and nurses lining the halls and exclaimed, "Are we having fun yet?" just another day at the office for them, One of the British doctors looked down and said, "Good luck, and thanks for asking". The transport team stopped me in the hall in front of OR3. A nice young nurse came in and said, "I'm a nurse anesthetist that has a cocktail that makes you relax"... We got to talking about the anesthesia (I guess I get talky when I am on the medicine. I thought, "Relaxing Is good at this point", and I pleaded with her to put me WAY under and we both laughed. I could tell that this wasn't her first rodeo. They wheeled me into the OR, and then the anesthesiologist came in and put a mask over my nose and mouth. She said that it was just oxygen and told me to think of happy things to think about, so naturally I started thinking about Adam and our upcoming nuptials. As I looked around I noticed the neat stereo equipment and TV set up in the OR. Pandora Radio - fully wired. Adam had told me how they listened to Pandora in the OR at Scott & White, but this set-up was neat. It almost made me want to be awake so I could rock out with them. Nah, not quite....
So the next thing I remember, I am waking up in ACUTE pain in recovery. I started crying and gasping for air and was trying to say, "Help me", but no one could hear me because my voice was so hoarse. I looked around and couldn't see a nurse or anything much because my eyes felt like they were glued shut. I finally got them opened, and tears ran down my face. I finally saw a nurse, who said that everything was going to be okay as she pushed some pain meds through my IV. At that point, I got really sick and was glad she was right there at that point. Her name was Liz. She kept saying, "It's okay honey, deep breaths", and told me to think of family... friends... things I like to do for fun... I quickly came around and she gave me something for nausea. I felt so much better. My first question for the nurse, besides "Help me?" was "How long did he actually operate?" and she said an hour and a half. TWICE the time he told us that it would take in the pre-op area. I wondered what went wrong and she said that she would look into it and either she would let me know or the doctor would.
At this point, I am sure I was talking Liz's ear off. I told her about the C-section recovery nurse, Shannon that had been such a wonderful comfort during the moments after Aiden's birth at 30 weeks gestation. I expressed my gratitude for recovery room nurses and shared with her the story of the recovery room nurses that meant so much comfort to Sophie during her recovery from the curettage of her Histiocytosis tumor. The world greatly underestimates good nurses! Having had both yesterday, I was thankful for Liz. Thankful by a LOT.
At that point, I was taken by the waiting room where we picked up my mom. She was happy to see me. I can't imagine the fear she must have felt when a 45 minute surgery turned into an hour and a half. On second thought, that reminds me of exactly what happened during Sophie's surgery and I just apologized to mom that it took so long. She said that the doctor had come into the waiting room to tell her I made it through surgery when he was done. She said that he also told her that it was a BIG disc, and that it took quite a bit of dissection because it was really stuck in there. He said I should start to feel relief from pain over the next week and that I need to be careful not to over do it, but that I should really feel a lot better. About the time we made it into the recovery room, he came by, and told me much the same thing. I thanked him profusely for making sure things went well and how appreciative I was for his talent. The moral of this story is ALWAYS ask for a "time out" before you have surgery! You don't want them operating on the wrong part!
About the time he left, I dozed and the nurse came in to wake me up with Apple Juice and Cranberry Juice as well as some crackers. I told her that I got sick in the recovery room so she said, probably best to stick to water until I get my bearings. So, I went straight for the water. My throat was sore and I needed hydration. After downing the apple juice I asked for more water and the nurse got me up to walk around. I was impressed that I was able to pass the criteria to be able to go home very quickly. I rested for a bit, and then I was allowed to go home. Home... just where I wanted to be!
Needless to say I made it through surgery just fine and was home by about 5pm after what was another bumpy ride home... It's always comforting to arrive home when you've been dreading a procedure for years. I had contemplating doing this some time ago, but when the GI doctor said no more anti-inflammatory meds, and that I was cut off because my stomach was such a mess, and the pain started to creep in with a VENGANCE, I knew it was time to act. After two opinions from two very skilled doctors, I feel like, I got the very best care possible. I pray that the recovery goes smoothly and I am able to be the best mom to Sophie and Aiden and best mom and soon to be wife to my future husband "The Awesome Mr. P" and his family. I look forward to the quality of life I will have if this surgery was a success and I am able to recover properly. Now it's up to me to discipline myself enough to know not to bend or lift for six weeks, though I will probably be back to work in just a few weeks. I am really looking forward to that!
To my Histio Family, I will tell you, I mentioned Histiocytosis to about every nurse, nurse anesthetist, doctor and tech I could get my hands on. I encouraged them all to look it up, and even though they probably thought I was nuts, I just wanted to let them know about so maybe, if they see a case of it going forward, they won't miss it!
Thank you to all of you who have held us in your prayers. Thank you to my church, who had food delivered to us last night for last night's dinner and breakfast this morning. Thank you to my fiance, "The Awesome Mr. P" for driving three hours with his four children in tow to be here for me to help me heal. We are so humbled by this gesture and grateful that I can just focus on my getting better instead of worrying about anything. This has been pretty painful, but hopefully the pain will improve as healing begins. Now to get some sleep! Big hugs from all of us to you!
Healing prayer
Dear God,
We know that illness doesn't come from You! You are there to see us through...
We know that you are the God of comfort, guidance, peace and truth
We know that everything we do should be to glorify YOU and build each other up
When given the opportunity You call us to be an example to others by how we handle ourselves in crisis.
We know as we heal from disease or physical challenges or deal with terminal illness,
If we lean on you, O Lord, we will find comfort and peace,
We know that You are the God that has delivered people from illness and has also comforted the ones who can't be healed.
Help us to feel your omnipresence as we go through these days.
Help us to continue to lean on you and believe in you through the doubts that creep in because we are human.
You are strong, invincible and are a rock to lean on to be our refuge in times of trouble.
Help us to remember and be grateful for the Grace you sent in the form of Jesus Christ who died on the cross while we were yet sinners so that we may not have to suffer, but have eternal life with You in heaven.
(John 3:16 para)
AMEN!
Talk to you soon dear friends,
Jodi
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