What God Really Wants Us to Know!

The New Testament "Gamble" by John Lynch

"What if I tell them who they are?" What if I take away any element of fear in condemnation, judgment or rejection"?

"What if I tell them I love them, will always love them? That I love them right now, no matter what they've done, as much as I love my only Son? That there's nothing they can do to make my love go away"?

"What if I tell them there are no lists? What if I tell them I don't keep a log of past offenses, of how little they pray, how often they've let me down, made promises that they don't keep?"

"What if I tell them they are righteous, with my righteousness, right now"?

"What if I tell them they can stop beating themselves up? That they can stop being so formal, stiff and jumpy around me?"

"What if I tell them I'm crazy about them? What if I tell them, even if they run to the ends of the earth and do the most horrible, unthinkable things, that when they come back, I'd receive them with tears and a party"?

"What if I tell them that I am their Savior, they're going to heaven no matter what--it's a done deal?

"What if I tell them they have a new nature--saints, not saved sinners who should now 'buck up and be better' if they were any kind of Christians, after all He's done for you!"

"What if I tell them that I actually live in them now? That I've put my love, power, and nature inside of them, at their disposal?"

"What if I tell them that they don't have to put on a mask? That it is OK to be who they are at this moment, with all their junk. That they don't need to Pretend about how close we are, how much they pray or don't, how much Bible they read or don't?"

"What if they knew they don't have to look over their shoulder for fear if things get to good, the other shoe's gonna drop?"

"What if they knew I will never, ever use the word "punish" in relation to them?"

"What if they knew that when they mess up, I will never 'get back at them'?"

"What if they were convinced that bad circumstances aren't my way of evening the score for taking advantage of me?"

"What if they knew the basis of our friendship isn't how little they sin, but how much they let me love them?"

"What if I tell them they can hurt my heart, but that I never hurt theirs?"

"What if I tell them I like U2's music too?"

"What if I tell them I never really liked the Christmas hand bell deal with the white gloves?"

"What if I tell them they can open their eyes when they pray and still go to heaven?"

"What if I tell them there is no secret agenda, no trapdoor?"

"What if I tell them it isn't about their self-effort, but about allowing me to live my life through them?"

*****

I had the privelege to hear John Lynch speak this Sunday at my church (http://www.whatisgrace.org/). This was one of the most incredible messages in my recent memory. He talked about the MASKS we put on at church because in some way we believe that the "works" we do will get us into heaven. The Mask Wearers are totally missing the boat. Your ticket to heaven is already bought and paid for!!!

Have a great day friends!!!

J

Sophie Update... IS ANYBODY OUT THERE??

How do you begin to process this? Sophie has been sick since September 12. It's been one month today. We were ordered by her pediatrician to get seen in the Emergency Room after our office visit yesterday. Sophie had been feeling very sluggish and tired after having to go home from school mid morning yesterday. She had missed a lot of school this year so far, so in spite of her having her usual "headache, tummy pain, dizziness and sluggishness", I told her to suck it up and get to school. She didn't have a "fever" it was only 99.5, so I gave her Motrin and sent her on the way…

Well at 8:45am I got a phone call from the nurse. Sophie was there, and she felt terrible. She got on the phone and spoke to me in her puny voice, "Mommy, I don't feel good", I told her that I thought it might be the new medication they put her on and told her to lay down, get a glass of water and something for a snack and then to call me later. She called later and said she was MUCH worse.

She went home to my mom and dad's house and my mom called and said she had just thrown up a LOT. She said that Sophie was asleep but looked like she felt TERRIBLE. So I decided I would go home at lunch and assess the situation and go from there. I got home and saw Sophie lying on the couch and she was completely unaware of her surroundings and was sound asleep. I woke her up and asked what all was wrong. She said, I have a terrible headache, tummy pain, dizziness and I can't stay awake. She also said she was itchy all over. I decided I needed to take a ½ day and got her checked out at the pediatrician's office.

Sophie laying on the bed at the pediatrician's office. I can just see the worry on her face.

On the way into the pediatrician's office, she almost fell down twice and I had to catch her. I escorted her into the office, and helped her take a seat. All the while she clutched a bucket to throw up in just in case. We also had brought some wash clothes just in case there was "something" that might need to be cleaned up. So I checked her in and she continued to look pretty tired... leaning her head on me and then the back of the cushion. Luckily for us, it was the first appointment after lunch, so we didn't have to wait long. She was starting to look pretty green, so we were glad to get to a room where she could lay down.

The nurse came in and started to triage her. I said she's about to throw up everywhere, so I'd be grateful if you could just look in her chart and READ before you start asking me 100 questions. And, I had written out a nice little "cheat sheet" with all of Sophie's current meds, dosing, her doctors and their telephone numbers on them as well as her list of current symptoms that day. She looked at me like I was crazy, I said "We've been at this since November of last year, cataloguing symptoms and medications… you get good at it" she thanked me, took Sophie's vitals and then the doctor came right in.

Sophie liked the young doctor. I told her I had given the nurse this paperwork that might assist her in assessment, and she said that she would definitely take a look as well as at Sophie's chart. She reviewed Sophie's information in the symptoms… and Sophie began to fall asleep lying there. I told the doctor, this just isn't LIKE her! And She felt around on Sophie's tummy, looked into her ears and eyes, nose and mouth. She said her throat was red, but that she was more concerned with the enlarged spleen and LOW BP's.  So, the young doc went and got Sophie's pediatrician who knows us well. She said that she definitely thought Sophie should go over to the ER to get some labs & possible CT or Ultrasound. Sophie was still so dizzy someone had to help her to the car.

Sophie felt realy puny yesterday. Still managed PINK for her IV, though. Girl's gotta REPRESENT!

The Child Life Specialist at TCH, who made Sophie feel so much more comfortable. What you don't see on Sophie's outstretched arm is that the nurse is drawing 12 tubes of blood! Yikes!!!

 We got home after 9 hours of running tests on my precious Sophie with very few answers except to follow up with the pediatrician and Dr. McClain's (her oncology) team this week. In the mean time, Sophie still feels terrible, with nausea, weird rashes, abdominal pain, enlarged spleen and dizzy and I'm praying that someone sees SOMETHING on all these tests that might point to a reason! I'm so tired and worried. Sophie is home now, still feels AWFUL. She has a terrible headache and is very dizzy and lightheaded and though the spleen was on the large side of normal on Ultrasound, when we were in the office (Oncology and pediatricians) no one was even concerned about her spleen, so I believe in my gut that the spleen is enlarging, and that may be part of what is making her feel so rotten. The other factor is that her blood pressure readings are low 91/50 & 81/48 while she was resting prior to discharge. They came up to 105/55 when she was sitting up, but they didn't give any fluids or anything, so I am still concerned because of the dizziness/lightheadedness. She can barely walk, she's so dizzy. Normal for her is 115/78'ish... They gave her Zofran for nausea/vomiting when we arrived, but no fluids were administered. A bunch of labs were drawn and a sinus wash was done as well. An abdominal ultrasound was performed and they sent us home with three prescriptions for stomach issues in hopes that they might help.

Some of the most frightening numbers I've ever seen, though I know it could be worse.

I am praying in the name of Jesus that she is all right. She is going to the Pediatrician and the Dermatologist tomorrow. She's having a few punch biopsies in the morning and then her follow up with the pediatrician in the afternoon. We just HAVE to be able to figure this OUT!!! She still has a low grade temp and a myriad of symptoms this morning. Meanwhile my heart is breaking for my baby girl.

The last time she really felt well... First day of School 2011

Baby Sophie 2002, Easter

Dear God,
The storms that come about in our lives do not make me doubt YOU!!! I do not doubt WHAT YOU DID for ME on the cross. You still changed EVERYTHING for me when I realized that YOU love your children enough to send your only son to DIE for MY SIN! How could I wonder about who you are and why YOU would give Sophie and Aiden these illnesses, when this isn't of YOU at all? I know the NEW covenant and know that the promise of Jesus is to bear our sins FOR us (and our children), not to punish us for it. I want You to be with me right now dear Lord. Be with me, and be with my precious children, Lord. Be with them as they face the most difficult trials they have ever faced!!! Be with me, and walk with us as I see them through this. I only have the power to help them because I love like YOU showed me to love by loving me first! All I can do now is show love to the ones I love, and even the people I don't. All I can do is empty all my selfish thoughts and wants out at the base of the cross and fill myself with Your grace and Your peace. It's by that and that alone that we will be able to face anything, and I thank YOU, God. Help me to show Your unconditional love to my children and please give us peace.

Amen

Goodnight friends,

J

BREAKING NEWS...

Well we got some really great news yesterday. Sophie’s art has been chosen by her art teacher to be part of the display in the district’s current Administration office display. The artwork was chosen from artwork by students from students in Kindergarten – twelfth grade from selections throughout the forty-five campuses in our district. I am so proud. I don’t even know which piece of hers was chosen, and I can’t wait to see the display! I will most certainly post pictures as soon as they are available.

 

Ahhh… Back to school. Nothing like being back to school… The movie “You’ve got Mail” affectionately discusses back to school’s essence as “Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” The affection is somehow lost on us… For us, back to school really means that the cesspool of germs and viruses is running rampant through the halls. Sneezy, Viral, Snotty Mucus-riddled children wiping their noses and then slobbering down a water fountain just really makes me wish I could wrap both my kids in bubble wrap before send them off… But then again, the ridicule that would be directed their way would be unparalleled and I would rather save them both the horror of that humiliation. Unfortunately, in our case, that’s how we look at things. It’s not the most ideal thing in the world as far as my children are concerned. With Sophie suffering with Histiocytosis and now Mononucleosis, and Aiden having Epilepsy and Hypergammaglobulenemia, it makes for an interesting season to say the least. Both kids have missed a lot of school thus far. The first two weeks of school it was a bad stomach bug. Included vomiting and diarrhea and temperatures and we all passed it around. Aiden and Sophie both had to go to the ER with that one, but for different reasons. Aiden because he was absolutely dehydrated. He had to receive IV fluids because he couldn’t eat or drink ANYTHING without throwing up which also meant he couldn’t get his seizure medicine, so we HAD to get him well enough to take his meds. I am hopeful that as their immune systems get stronger, they will both see a break in all the viral illnesses. Sophie’s was different. She presented last Saturday with chest tightness and dizziness. So, I automatically assumed she was having a Histio relapse, but she wasn’t thank God. She tossed her cookies as we were sitting in the ER waiting after triage had seen her and moved her to the front of the line. It’s not good to have a kid with an illness that gets moved to the front of the line… but both of mine do. When you walk into the ER and tell them your kid has tightness in her chest and dizziness and she’s got Histiocytosis and is treated at Texas Children’s Cancer Center, you’d be surprised how quickly they push you to the head of the line. Unfortunately, I have spent WAY too much money this year on copays, prescriptions and coinsurance amounts. We are totally just spent…

 

I am hopeful that this year will turn around and that next year will be better as far as medical expenses go. It could be so much worse, and I am thankful for all we DO have. I am blessed beyond measure…

 

Have a great day friends,

J

Aiden Update, the end of an era & fundraising for Histio!

Well li'l man got very sick overnight. My prayer request is that it is just a virus and isn't something more serious. I'm exhausted, I've been up since 3am. I am going to try hard to make it through the day today, but I'm dragging along. The only thing that keeps me going is my fiance, sending me kind words of encouragement through the day. The hope is that this day will be over soon and that I can go home and get some rest. I'm VERY sleepy. I'm not trying to whine, it just is what it is...

Today is the end of an era at my company. We have sold our entire crude oil business (our largest business segment) to another company and today is the last working day for the 10 employees of the new company that remain here. Their stuff is all being boxed up today and is moving out officially tomorrow. I am going to miss all of them for different reasons. It's been great spending the last two years getting to know these people, and in many cases their families as well. It's been a long time coming... the announcement, that came on the heels of the firm being announced Houston's most profitable private compnay, was made a few months back. I just know the employees are ready to move on and that things may be different at the new company, but they do have jobs. That's the silver lining in all of this...

I am also collecting donations for the Hisito Cure foundation today! So far, we're up to almost $200 that will go directly to Hisitocytosis research. I couldn't be more excited! Yay! I will be mailing them directly to the foundation after the event on Saturday. Please contact me now if you want to send a check our way, and get in on the action!

Here's the email I sent...

Sophie and I are going to Galveston this weekend to raise money for the Foundation with a group of patients that are seen by Sophie’s oncologist and his team (Dr. M & Dr. A) at TCHCC. We are asking for everyone we see that day to just give $1 for Histiocytosis Research. Every dollar they earn goes directly to research. They have recently received a small grant from the National Institute of Health that should cover administrative costs, but their research is still very expensive. Right now there is no known cause, and no cure... People diagnosed with Histiocytosis live with it their entire lives, and many die very young.

I just wanted you to know what we’re up to because this is our philanthropic effort, and I think it really could do a lot of good for a lot of kids with Histiocytosis. If you would like to donate, please let me know.

EMAIL ME AT: jodimmorgan@yahoo.com to get involved!!!

Crazy Day!

Well, I had to be away from the office today... BOTH kids were sick. So here's the scoop on everyone...

Sophie has some sort of bug. It latched on Saturday and didn't really let go. She still managed to play and put on a smile when Adam and the kids were here, but she was very tired and congested. Last night she broke out into a horrible sweat and drenched her bedcovers with perspiration. I woke her up and gave her some Motrin because she felt hot, but she didn't have a temp, from what my thermometer read. She is really only one half the reason I stayed home. I needed to take her in and figure this out. I knew Dr. D would have an answer. She didn't know EXACTLY what it was, but said she suspected it was viral. So we wait... She said she'd either start to get better in 3-6 days or worse. ugh...

Aiden's been sick for weeks and though I thought he might be getting better, he took a turn for the worse over night last night. He can't breathe well at all and has so much congestion, I had no clue what to do for him. So, after myself or my mom sleeping with him for the last four nights in a row, nudging him because he would stop breathing in the middle of deep sleep, we knew it was time. Dr. D said it was a bad infection of the sinus and that he had some fluid in his lungs. When the doctor looks down at your kid and says, "poor little guy", you know it's not good. So, she prescribed an antibiotic and a breathing treatment for every six hours, she encouraged us to go see our ENT (the one who also diagnosed Sophie's Histiocytosis whom we love) TODAY. She urged us to call and say that she said that he needed to be seen. So, later this afternoon we got in to see the ENT.

Sophie was so cute, she insisted on going with us, because she wanted to thank her herself. I thought that was SO sweet. We got into see her, and the first think she said when she saw Sophie (who still felt kinda lousy) was, "You're a celebrity", obviously referencing the Katy Magazine article. You can read it here: http://www.katymagazine.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/Katy-Texas-My-Story-Helping-Sophie-Heal-Katy-TX.pdf. I thought that was SO sweet! Sophie just smiled and blushed. I don't think she knew how to handle it. Then we got down to business... li'l man was siiiick.

She looked in his ears with the otoscope and said that his tubes (installed on 2010) had dislodged and that one of his ears was pretty infected also. She said that we needed to let this upper respiratory/bronchial thing play out and then she would recommend a tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy for li'l man. She wants to follow up in six weeks. Knowing how sick he gets when he gets sick (high fevers, seizures) and that his snoring has gotten significantly worse as he's grown, she really understands his case and we think she knows what is best. I believe we will schedule the surgery and she said he may have to have a new set of tubes in his ears at that time. I prayed to God that no one in our family would have to have surgery for the remainder of this year, but sadly not the case. While we were there she also observed that Aiden hasn't gained any weight since April. 31 pounds and holding.

It's frustrating because I have one kid who looks at a brownie and gains 10 pounds and another who can't gain weight though he eats... a LOT... Well I guess another day, another bunch of fun for us.

On another note I had a great weekend with the AMAZING Mr. P and his brood of gorgeous and precious children. Here are some fun pictures to enjoy!

Hopefully the kids are going to continue to see better days in spite of the stress we are having to go through now. I am so completely grateful that I have my family to stress about. I also am really blessed to have such an AMAZING fiance to lean on. And, he knows he can lean on me to. I know the next 9 months are going to fly by. I can't wait to marry him! I just pray that my kiddos are heeealthy!

May the Lord Bless You and Keep You Tonight, Dear Friends,

J

Surgery for Mommy, Medical Message and Prayer

Well I kissed and hugged sweet Sophie good-bye when my mom and dad arrived that morning at 6:30am. Mom was waiting in the car for me so we could make our way to Methodist for the surgery. One that had been on the back burner for way too long because of Sophie and Aiden's health issues. But, now that my GI Doctor had cut me off of all Anti-Inflammatory drugs because my stomach has been torn to shreds, it was time to make a decision. It's not like I can be on pain medicine for the rest of my life, and I have been on it for way too long... It was sad to say good-bye to Sophie knowing that the last time she had heard the term "surgery" it was she who was going under the knife. Petrified, my little one was up at 5:45am to be sure she could see Mommy before I left. I assured her that the kind of surgery I was having wasn't to "find out what it is", but rather we already know what it is because of the fancy pictures I had shown her on the MRI, and that my surgery was so I could walk better and have less pain. She acted like she was all right with that, so with a tight squeeze, I was out the door.

The ride to the hospital was by far one of the longest I had EVER had. The preop instructions forbade me from taking my pain meds or eating or drinking anything past midnight. After review of the preop instructions, I also noticed something VERY disturbing. There seemed to be some debate on whether they were operating on my right or left side of the L5-S1 disc. I definitely wanted to get that cleared up ASAP!!! I thought I distinctly remembered them saying LEFT, and since that's where the majority of my pain has been, I had to make certain to clear that up. During the painful drive there (NPO after midnight, remember) I felt every bump, every jerk of the wheel, every stop light... Excruciating! The good news is that my sainted mother drove me to the hospital and stayed there for what was probably a gut wrenching day for her, and the pain I was in also quite literally drove home the need for the surgery. When we got to the check in desk, we were pointed to the preop room where I was told by the nurse there that I could have had the pain med after all! WHAT??? Ugh! I asked if I could have one to take the edge off while we waited. I was the second surgery of the day. She said yes, and that she was so sorry that the pre-op group hadn't explained this. I downed the medicine with a tiny wallow of water and started to feel a little better and had a short siesta.

Just then there was a knock on the door. It was anesthesia. A nice young woman walked in to get a brief history on me and before she could start her spiel, I said, "There's one big question mark here. Is it Left or Right???" She assured me with a blank stare, that I would have a chance to talk to the Neurosurgeon BEFORE I was cut on, so I listened to her. She was a bit perplexed herself and I did notice her looking through the file where she saw that the word "right" had been written repeatedly. She told me that she just did the anesthesia side, but would voice my concern. I felt a bit like a child getting a pat on the head at that point... Could someone PLEASE answer this question?? Ugh

The transport team walked in as anesthesia was wrapping up, and said, "They're ready for you!", to which I said, "nobody's cutting on me without knowing what side... MMMkay!!!???" Just about that time, the doctor rounded the corner and said, "I know you", trying to be clever. I said, "Good to see you, Doc, could you PLEASE tell me what side you're cutting on? There seems to be some confusion on the paperwork!". He then pulled out an index card that said, "Morgan, L5-S1, Left", and showed it to me. He then asked, "what side is the pain on?" and I said "BOTH". He then said, "Well if the pain is on both, doing a discectomy on the left only won't help much, will it? What did the consent say that you singed?" I replied, "I thought it said Right" but then I explained that I thought that the resident that was with him that day I came for my office visit said Left Side L5-S1! " He then directed the transport staff to wheel me back into the room to wait some more. He said that he would get to the bottom of it. He was IRRITATED at the nursing staff that hadn't properly prepared the forms. He told us he would go prepare new forms and would go look closer at the MRI. Upon his return, he said, it's definitely a LEFT L5-S1 herniation, and it's a BIG DISC," and he went further to explain that it was large enough and could very well be causing the bilateral pain I've been having. He then took hid sharpie out and marked on my skin where he would operate.

So, new consents were hastily signed and they rolled me in to get the IV installed and I was sure we were almost there. Someone asked, "is 10 ready?" and they yelled yes and pushed me down through Dunn Tower OR to room 3. I saw all the docs and nurses lining the halls and exclaimed, "Are we having fun yet?" just another day at the office for them, One of the British doctors looked down and said, "Good luck, and thanks for asking". The transport team stopped me in the hall in front of OR3. A nice young nurse came in and said, "I'm a nurse anesthetist that has a cocktail that makes you relax"... We got to talking about the anesthesia (I guess I get talky when I am on the medicine. I thought, "Relaxing Is good at this point", and I pleaded with her to put me WAY under and we both laughed. I could tell that this wasn't her first rodeo. They wheeled me into the OR, and then the anesthesiologist came in and put a mask over my nose and mouth. She said that it was just oxygen and told me to think of happy things to think about, so naturally I started thinking about Adam and our upcoming nuptials. As I looked around I noticed the neat stereo equipment and TV set up in the OR. Pandora Radio - fully wired. Adam had told me how they listened to Pandora in the OR at Scott & White, but this set-up was neat. It almost made me want to be awake so I could rock out with them. Nah, not quite....

So the next thing I remember, I am waking up in ACUTE pain in recovery. I started crying and gasping for air and was trying to say, "Help me", but no one could hear me because my voice was so hoarse. I looked around and couldn't see a nurse or anything much because my eyes felt like they were glued shut. I finally got them opened, and tears ran down my face. I finally saw a nurse, who said that everything was going to be okay as she pushed some pain meds through my IV. At that point, I got really sick and was glad she was right there at that point. Her name was Liz. She kept saying, "It's okay honey, deep breaths", and told me to think of family... friends... things I like to do for fun... I quickly came around and she gave me something for nausea. I felt so much better. My first question for the nurse, besides "Help me?" was "How long did he actually operate?" and she said an hour and a half. TWICE the time he told us that it would take in the pre-op area. I wondered what went wrong and she said that she would look into it and either she would let me know or the doctor would.

At this point, I am sure I was talking Liz's ear off. I told her about the C-section recovery nurse, Shannon that had been such a wonderful comfort during the moments after Aiden's birth at 30 weeks gestation. I expressed my gratitude for recovery room nurses and shared with her the story of the recovery room nurses that meant so much comfort to Sophie during her recovery from the curettage of her Histiocytosis tumor. The world greatly underestimates good nurses! Having had both yesterday, I was thankful for Liz. Thankful by a LOT.

At that point, I was taken by the waiting room where we picked up my mom. She was happy to see me. I can't imagine the fear she must have felt when a 45 minute surgery turned into an hour and a half. On second thought, that reminds me of exactly what happened during Sophie's surgery and I just apologized to mom that it took so long. She said that the doctor had come into the waiting room to tell her I made it through surgery when he was done. She said that he also told her that it was a BIG disc, and that it took quite a bit of dissection because it was really stuck in there. He said I should start to feel relief from pain over the next week and that I need to be careful not to over do it, but that I should really feel a lot better. About the time we made it into the recovery room, he came by, and told me much the same thing. I thanked him profusely for making sure things went well and how appreciative I was for his talent. The moral of this story is ALWAYS ask for a "time out" before you have surgery! You don't want them operating on the wrong part!

About the time he left, I dozed and the nurse came in to wake me up with Apple Juice and Cranberry Juice as well as some crackers. I told her that I got sick in the recovery room so she said, probably best to stick to water until I get my bearings. So, I went straight for the water. My throat was sore and I needed hydration. After downing the apple juice I asked for more water and the nurse got me up to walk around. I was impressed that I was able to pass the criteria to be able to go home very quickly. I rested for a bit, and then I was allowed to go home. Home... just where I wanted to be!

Needless to say I made it through surgery just fine and was home by about 5pm after what was another bumpy ride home... It's always comforting to arrive home when you've been dreading a procedure for years. I had contemplating doing this some time ago, but when the GI doctor said no more anti-inflammatory meds, and that I was cut off because my stomach was such a mess, and the pain started to creep in with a VENGANCE, I knew it was time to act. After two opinions from two very skilled doctors, I feel like, I got the very best care possible. I pray that the recovery goes smoothly and I am able to be the best mom to Sophie and Aiden and best mom and soon to be wife to my future husband "The Awesome Mr. P" and his family. I look forward to the quality of life I will have if this surgery was a success and I am able to recover properly. Now it's up to me to discipline myself enough to know not to bend or lift for six weeks, though I will probably be back to work in just a few weeks. I am really looking forward to that!

To my Histio Family, I will tell you, I mentioned Histiocytosis to about every nurse, nurse anesthetist, doctor and tech I could get my hands on. I encouraged them all to look it up, and even though they probably thought I was nuts, I just wanted to let them know about so maybe, if they see a case of it going forward, they won't miss it!

Thank you to all of you who have held us in your prayers. Thank you to my church, who had food delivered to us last night for last night's dinner and breakfast this morning. Thank you to my fiance, "The Awesome Mr. P" for driving three hours with his four children in tow to be here for me to help me heal. We are so humbled by this gesture and grateful that I can just focus on my getting better instead of worrying about anything. This has been pretty painful, but hopefully the pain will improve as healing begins. Now to get some sleep! Big hugs from all of us to you!

Healing prayer
Dear God,
We know that illness doesn't come from You! You are there to see us through...
We know that you are the God of comfort, guidance, peace and truth
We know that everything we do should be to glorify YOU and build each other up
When given the opportunity You call us to be an example to others by how we handle ourselves in crisis.
We know as we heal from disease or physical challenges or deal with terminal illness,
If we lean on you, O Lord, we will find comfort and peace,
We know that You are the God that has delivered people from illness and has also comforted the ones who can't be healed.
Help us to feel your omnipresence as we go through these days.
Help us to continue to lean on you and believe in you through the doubts that creep in because we are human.
You are strong, invincible and are a rock to lean on to be our refuge in times of trouble.
Help us to remember and be grateful for the Grace you sent in the form of Jesus Christ who died on the cross while we were yet sinners so that we may not have to suffer, but have eternal life with You in heaven.
(John 3:16 para)
AMEN!

Talk to you soon dear friends,
Jodi

Fun, Guacamole, Aiden and a Worthwhile Cause!

Fun times...

So, last weekend, I went to visit the Amazing Mr. P and his family (my soon-to-be family). As usual, it was crazy times with five kids in the house. It was very enjoyable though…

Lots of fun and I had the kids take me out on the land and walk me around. Kara and Jonathan have such vivid imaginations. They showed me their hideouts, which are little spots where the trees overhang each other and make these little shelters where they can hide and play and be creative. They talked about all the characters they encounter in the forest and how their adventures take place. They described in vivid detail some of their adventures that involve wolves, cats, badgers and the like. It was incredible to see their little minds working so actively. They're not even eleven yet!

I went to the store on Saturday morning and got a bunch of groceries for the bunch. It was fun grilling out on Saturday! We also had my miracle guacamole.

Here's the recipe:

Miracle Guacamole

7 large avocados, cubed, peeled and seeded

1 Tbsp guacamole

2 limes, juiced and seeded

2 lemons, juiced and seeded

1 cup diced onion

1 cup diced tomatoes, drained

½ Tbsp Cumin

2 Tbsp Salt

1 Tbsp Pepper

1 Jalapeno, seeded, deveined and diced FINE

Combine all ingredients in a LARGE bowl and mash with a potato masher. This guacamole is amazing. If you seal it in an air tight container, you can even have some more the next day!

***

So, we got home Sunday evening, and had a real adventure on the way home. Aiden was so happy, he sang the entire way. We stopped at Applebee's in Brenham, TX for something to eat. We checked in at the front of the restaurant. I told the hostess, we will need a table for two, but we need to tidy up a bit first. So, we made our way to the restroom. There, I changed Aiden's diaper and got him cleaned up and ready to eat. We were both pretty hungry, but Aiden kept flirting with the server. She was a really cute girl in her mid-twenties. She was cooing and gooing at Aiden and he kept playing hide and seek with her. I was hungry, and just as my salad and Aiden's bunch of croutons and tomatoes made it to the table, I heard this awful sound coming from my son... It was #2 time whether I was ready or NOT! I had only brought one diaper in and that was the one I had used BEFORE we sat down. As I pondered... I thought, well they're not THAT busy, we could stay here and eat until someone gave us the 'stink eye', or I could just go get another diaper out of the trunk and go get him cleaned up again. As hungry as we were, I excused ourselves to the hostess and told her to please not give our table away, but the diaper bag was in the car, and I went out and grabbed another diaper and got him cleaned up. I put Aiden up on the changing table and did our thing. Just as I got him cleaned up, and was about to reach for the diaper, I realized that something wet was in my hair. I looked down, and saw my two year-old laughing hysterically at the steady stream spraying the walls and everything in his path. As I quickly covered him up, I realized just how many times I had said, "make sure you put something over that" to other new moms. I just never thought it'd be me. As I strapped his diaper on, I slipped his shorts (which were surprisingly dry at this point) back on his little bottom. I proceeded to grab a hand full of wipes, paper towels and whatever I could find. I felt like a blend of Cinderella and the little Wizard played by Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice with mops a flurry as I was almost sure someone was going to walk into the restroom and be adequately disgusted at what was happening.

 I cleaned up the mess, had us each wash our hands...WELL... and we went to have our meal. Thankfully the meal was wonderful and the food was hot and tasty. With all that said, it was a terrific (and quite hilarious) trip home. It was awesome to see Aiden so happy and cheerful. I played Elmo videos on the portable DVD player in the car, which never hurts.  He stayed home sick Monday with a low grade temperature, which I'm praying was just because he was exhausted and/or teething. The moral of this story is, NEVER LEAVE THE DIAPER BAG IN THE CAR, ALWAYS COVER LITTLE BOYS DURING DIAPER CHANGES and ALWAYS PACK ELMO when a two year old is involved. This episode might have been upsetting to some, but to me it was just funny. It's like nothing little (like this) bothers me anymore. I have something pretty useful these days... it's called PERSPECTIVE. lol...

Aiden Update:

In other news today, we got some news... This morning, the woman from the PT/OT's office got to visit Aiden in day care. She said that she is still noticing (As I have been) that Aiden is still not moving as much on his right side of his body. It's disheartening, considering how much work we have done. It's like he's just not there yet.

Here's what she said, "Hi J, I wanted to let you know that I did get an opportunity to go to school to "peek" at Mr. Aiden cutie. I too noticed some asymmetry in his movements. This perhaps could be about him getting a bit bigger or about him trying to perform movements faster as I saw him on the playground with friends.   After I spoke with T, we both feel he would benefit from services again.  Unfortunately (due to the paperwork process), this means re-qualifying him, unless of course you would prefer to access private therapy facilities that are here locally.  I can provide you with that information should that be easiest for your family.  He otherwise was very engaging, friendly, and eager to perform the "big boy" skills.  Just let me know if you would like me to initiate a PT/OT referral again so that T and I can schedule a mtg. with you.  Take Care, D" I agree with her, that we would like to see him qualify for services again, but it's just a hard pill to swallow. I know the doctors said to prepare for him to have developmental delays, he's just been doing so well.

I will keep you guys posted as to the process with li'l man. I pray that he is really going to benefit from PT/OT again and hopefully make strides, and keep improving. I am praying for education, awareness and increasing ability in the disorders that both of my children have.

Histiocytosis (A Worthwhile Cause!) Update:

I also had the blessing of attending a Twitter chat on www.twitter.com at #abcDrBchat today during my lunch hour. It was amazing!!! I am new to twitter. You can follow me @BuzzAboutJodi if you would like. I forwarded this twitter chat on to a few people in the effort to raise awareness about histiocytosis, and we just might get some folks interested in helping partner with us to raise awareness and to help with fundraisers. It's so exciting to be able to help. Most caregivers of histio patients have too much care giving to do, therefore the awareness aspect is the last thing they are able to help with. Thankfully, Sophie isn't one of the sickest, so I can help. I can be a voice for those who can't speak for the ones they love.

Tonight Dear God, I just want to pray for those moms and dads who have too many worries to watch and enjoy a TV show. I want to pray for the ones who sit by their sick kids' bed and watch them breathe just to be sure they don't stop.. I want to pray for those parents who sit exhausted after many long nights at the hospital or by a bed side, and the drip of an IV bag becomes like a second hand on a clock to them. Only there isn't any real time in their world anymore; other than the time it takes for the chemo or the life saving medicine to reach their child, so they can finally be sure that the next breath will come. I want to pray for those people who sit, months after an illness with pile of medical bills they're afraid to open, tears running down their tired cheeks. I want to pray for the people in our country who can't get the care they need for themselves or their children for whatever reason, and for the doctors on the front lines, who have a heart to find cures for illness. May you comfort them all, Lord. May you comfort them all right now. Amen.

Goodnight friends,
J

Surgery and SKYPE ROCKS!!!

The last few days have been hard. There's no other way to put it. I went to the orthopaedist to get my MRI results yesterday, which was something that I have been dreading. I would much rather have my teeth drilled, get up and speak in front of thousands and sing karaoke with a cold than get the results of the MRI. Frankly, I knew what they were going to say. I knew he was going to tell me I had a badly herniated disc and that I needed surgery. My fiance had already looked at the MRI films, as had I, and we had been able to see clearly that there was a bad herniation and a degeneration in another disc that isn't far behind the ruptured one. I have been in a lot of pain, but have put it off for months because of the kids' problems.

And, well, I just don't like the idea of having to have surgery... but after the GI doc told me I can't be on anti-inflammatory meds anymore because they're tearing up my stomach, well something had to give. A few weeks ago, when I threw my back out as we were going in for Sophie's MRI, I knew I needed to do something. So, I got into the room and heard the doctor's squeaky tennis shoes creeping closer to my door. He put his little rubber hammer down, and said, "Let's just talk..." I said, "What did it say?" He tactfully tried to lay out my options, but explained that he knew what I would probably want to do. He said that epidural injections and PT may buy us a little time, but that surgery was going to give me quality of life and prevent nerve damage. I am scared to death at this point. So, he talks a little more and all I can hear is "Wah wah wah (think Charlie Brown's mom here)" and I am led by the Yale educated doctor out to the screen where he shows me my MRI pictures in more detail. He says, "here's the herniation, and here's where it's pushing the nerves that control your left leg, and your right" All I could do was choke back tears as I walked back to the exam room. I said that I needed to know what kind of recovery was involved in something like this. He explained, and I probably heard half of what he said. He gave me a pamphlet and then said to think it through and to let him know, but encouraged me to get on his schedule because he only does surgery one day a week. I thanked him and a nice young lady walked in and had me go out into the waiting area. A thought cloud formed above my head.... "Surgery??... Sigh... Don't they know my daughter has LCH and my son has Epilepsy and CP? Don't they know I have a friggin' nough on my plate without THIS?" I started to text my family and then got called back to get on the schedule. I talked to my family and friends and am definitely getting a second opinion. Please say a little prayer for me. I would be grateful!

Well something absolutely wonderful happened tonight. I got to talk to Sophie with Aiden in my lap while she was in South Padre Island visiting the other side of her family. Though some people may not think this kind of technology is amazing, for us it absolutely was.

See, I have only been using Skype for a few months. And, well Sophie was just diagnosed with LCH in January, so having her gone this summer has been a gut wrenching time to say the very least. I also was absolutely amazed to see the two kiddos interacting. And, as a bonus, Aiden initiated a lot of their interactions, from "fist bumps" to "high-bye" (aka. high-fives) as well as blowing kisses over the computer. To me, with his developmental issues, and yearning to see her sweet face again after all we've been through this year, this absolutely and 110% MADE MY DAY. Sophie's dad and I may not always get along, but he and his mom get major brownie points for facilitating this interaction. Thank you.

My thought for a Tuesday... Tonight I want to pray for all the parents out there. I want to pray that God come between you and your ex and/or current spouse and intervene in a way that is positive for the children. May you always remember that there are precious little hearts and minds at stake in every parental situation and may you be blessed in knowing that you have the power to enrich them. May every day you be granted peace in knowing that you made the best choices possible with the day you have. Today is all we have, people. You can plan for tomorrow, but LIVE LIFE FULLY TODAY.

Dear God,

May we find peace in knowing YOU more. May we share you with our children through our example so that our children will see the love you first gave to us through your Son, Jesus Christ. And tonight, may we remember Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." God, we try to make the best decisions for our children and ourselves TODAY. And, in spite of our mistakes, you remind us continually that you've got us covered for tomorrow without us having to do anything to earn it. God, help us to have peace in knowing that you've got our back, and that you will give us the stamina to push through another day and live it fully through your strength and love.

Amen.

Goodnight friends,
J

A crowded room

Sophie is in having her MRI now. They are checking her thyroid and pituitary function for something called Diabetes Insipidous. DI is not Sugar Diabetes but is water diabetes and is a side effect of Histiocytosis. I pray she doesn't have it, but they're going to check. They are also checking her tumor to see if it is shrinking. I'm praying that is the case and nothing else is going on... As I sit, I am pondering...

I am a part of a new community of Histiocytosis and cancer parents I can't help but flash in my head the men, women and children we have seen on our many visits to the cancer center.

We have seen parents wrought with worry and concern, siblings bored out of their minds, but you can see their concern too. I walk by them, with their different electronic devices and I pray silently to myself that something would ease their pain.

As I sit in this crowded room, a mom sits with her eight year-old son peering over her shoulder at her iPad. Next to her sits a man who appears to have cried a lot today. His face is red, and he keeps getting up to pace the room.

Next to them, a father and his son sit with their Astros shirts on. They laugh and look over to the TV that's playing an old movie about a dog with a very solemn soundtrack. Further around the corner lay two brothers with their mom texting anxiously.

Then the doctor came out to report on their child's heart. This is the dad who looked like he was crying and the iPad mom and big brother. Now I know why they looked so sad. Mom has a stoic expression.... And tries to smile in spite of the news she just got. Inoperable isn't a good thing to hear. She tells her son that he can go stay with Grammy. He hugs her tight and just says, "I just want to be with you and Dad" and he starts to cry.

Every family has a story. Before you judge people for wearing the wrong thing, having hair that's a mess... or something else... Just please remember that they are probably going through something heavy too.

In this crowded room...

God bless dear ones,
J

Sent from my iPhone

Golliath

It's so hard not to let worry creep in an paralyze you. Sophie's bump was there originally for three months before we had the first curetage. I pray that it's not growing in size, but rather the swelling and new margins that are there, are just the skull healing from underneath. This thing eats away at her SKULL, people. And it's kind of freaking me out! She's got a 3cm hole in her head and I pray that it's not growing, even though I can feel it and it's margins with my hands and it's about 3cm in width. It used to be a little bump (aka. nodule) that the MRI showed was 1cm and may even be showing signs of self-healing during her last scans in April. Why and how could this disease come back so quickly? It's mind boggling. It's only been a few months since her last scans!!

Please don't misunderstand me, I know God's going to see us through this, just like He has so many times before and I don't doubt him for a second. But, it's gonna be tough if they look us in the eye and tell us she has to have chemo. Very hard... I have read the journeys of many histio warriors and ^^angels^^ who have had to endure chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants and no one would EVER want that for their child EVER! This disease is relentless, non-discriminatory and chemo/steroids and BMT are really the only options if disease starts to run through the system.

And, to all the well-meaning brothers and sisters out there, please don't try to tell me that it's God's will that this is happening to my child. And, if I give you an odd look if you say that to me, please don't be offended...  I just don't believe that God would do this to ANY child. ANY CHILD... I think IT IS God's will that we handle it with HIS help. I think IT IS God's will that we be strong. And, I think IT IS God's will that we hold Him close, like the glue that keeps us all from falling apart. I think IT IS God's will that we pray... for the other histio and cancer warriors that we talk to in the forums and that we see at TXCCC every time we go. I think we should pray for healing, for comfort and for peace for all those affected. I love the Lord and I know he will see us through, with the strength of David vs. Golliath. I think this very well could be our Golliath. Maybe we should rename "Ouchie the Bump", Golliath. Maybe we shouldn't have ever given it a name in the first place, but then again denial is no place to be either.

Dear Lord,
Today I am praying for peace and calm for Sophie and myself. I pray for comfort for my fiance as he tries to offer emotional support over the miles. I also want to pray for my mom and dad as they await more test results. God WE KNOW you are here, and will never leave us. Please make it not hurt so bad sometimes, and please help us to find peace in knowing that you are here NOW!
Amen.

Have a good day friends,
J

This weekend, Sophie Update and Prayer for Adam!

This was an amazing weekend, filled with some of the best memories of my lifetime. My brother had just been ordained a United Methodist Pastor, so his church held a very nice reception for him. There was a pot-luck and the food and fellowship were amazing. Sophie was not able to attend, but Adam was able to join us. A beautiful letter was written by my mom and dad to my brother. It was read at the reception. Lots of fun memories were described and I think my brother was totally speechless.

We got in around four o’clock and settled in for the evening. It was a lot of driving for poor little Aiden, he was extremely tired and cranky, but after he got his bath, he laid down just fine. Sophie is the one I am sort of worried about today... When she got out of the shower, I examined her for any changes in “Ouchie the Bump”, well to my dismay the area where her bump is has changed. There used to be a “nodule” where the original tumor was, as well as a kind of sunken in part to her tumor injection site. Well, last night, it was more bulbous and curved outward instead of inward. I am hoping and praying that it’s nothing because that would mean chemo… I have emailed and called her doctor at the Cancer Center to see if we should go ahead and get her seen, or wait ‘til Mid-July when her scans are scheduled. Please keep the prayers coming!

In wedding news… The wedding planning is coming along nicely. We have decided on a venue and are looking forward to being married there. It’s tough to do a wedding on a super tight budget, but I am sure it will still be very nice. We have been hunting for a reception venue and I’m sure we’ll come up with a place soon, and it will be beautiful. We have decided that we need to get some things planned now, and set, so that if Sophie’s LCH gets worse, we have some things checked off the “to-do” list and can roll forward easily towards our wedding date without too much stress. God knows we have enough from other sources, lol…

This is a prayer for my fiance and I...

Dear Lord,

Grant that I and my future spouse may have a true

and understanding love for each other.

Grant that we may both

be filled with faith and trust.

Give us the grace to live

with each other in peace and harmony.

May we always bear with one another's weaknesses

and grow from each other's strengths.

help us to forgive one another's failings

and grant us patience, kindness, cheerfulness

and the spirit of placing the well-being

of one another ahead of self.

May the love that brought us together

grow and mature with each passing year.

Bring us both ever closer to You

through our love for each other.

Let our love grow to perfection.

Amen.

Good day friends,

J

For Aiden: Epilepsy Info, IVH Information, and a Preemie Prayer!

What is epilepsy?

Epilepsy is a neurological condition that from time to time produces brief disturbances in the normal electrical functions of the brain. Normal brain function is made possible by millions of tiny electrical charges passing between nerve cells in the brain and to all parts of the body. When someone has epilepsy, this normal pattern may be interrupted by intermittent bursts of electrical energy that are much more intense than usual. They may affect a person's consciousness, bodily movements or sensations for a short time.

These physical changes are called epileptic seizures. That is why epilepsy is sometimes called a seizure disorder. The unusual bursts of energy may occur in just one area of the brain (partial seizures), or may affect nerve cells throughout the brain (generalized seizures). Normal brain function cannot return until the electrical bursts subside. Conditions in the brain that produce these episodes may have been present since birth, or they may develop later in life due to injury, infections, structural abnormalities in the brain, exposure to toxic agents, or for reasons that are still not well understood. Many illnesses or severe injuries can affect the brain enough to produce a single seizure. When seizures continue to occur for unknown reasons or because of an underlying problem that cannot be corrected, the condition is known as epilepsy. Epilepsy affects people of all ages, all nations, and all races. Epilepsy can also occur in animals, including dogs, cats, rabbits, and mice.

What is the difference between seizures and epilepsy?

Seizures are a symptom of epilepsy. Epilepsy is the underlying tendency of the brain to produce sudden bursts of electrical energy that disrupt other brain functions. Having a single seizure does not necessarily mean a person has epilepsy. High fever, severe head injury, lack of oxygen -- a number of factors can affect the brain enough to cause a single seizure. Epilepsy, on the other hand, is an underlying condition (or permanent brain injury) that affects the delicate systems which govern how electrical energy behaves in the brain, making it susceptible to recurring seizures.

Which doctors treat epilepsy?

Neurologists, pediatric neurologists, pediatricians, neurosurgeons, internists and family physicians all provide treatment for epilepsy. Specialized care for people whose seizures are difficult to control is available in large medical centers, neurological clinics at university and other hospitals, and from neurological specialists in private practice.

Is epilepsy ever contagious?

No, epilepsy is never contagious. You cannot catch epilepsy from someone else and nobody can catch it from you.

What should I consider if there has been only a single seizure?

When a child or adult has never had a seizure before, the first seizure is usually followed by a careful medical evaluation to help the doctor decide whether to recommend treatment with seizure-preventing drugs, or to wait and see whether it occurs again. The most important factor in deciding whether to begin drug treatment for a single seizure is the probability of further seizures. Physicians use both diagnostic tests and careful evaluation of the seizure itself to determine how likely it is that the patient may have more seizures in the future. Age, family history, and possible causes of the seizure are among the factors that are considered. Non-medical issues, such as loss of driver's license or worries about impact on employment, may also enter into the decision. In many cases, the doctor will recommend waiting to see if another seizure occurs before beginning treatment.

What causes epilepsy?

In about seven out of ten people with epilepsy, no cause can be found. Among the rest, the cause may be any one of a number of things that can make a difference in the way the brain works. For example, head injuries or lack of oxygen during birth may damage the delicate electrical system in the brain. Other causes include brain tumors, genetic conditions (such as tuberous sclerosis), lead poisoning, problems in development of the brain before birth, and infections like meningitis or encephalitis. Epilepsy is often thought of as a condition of childhood, but it can develop at any time of life. About 30 percent of the 125,000 new cases every year begin in childhood, particularly in early childhood and around the time of adolescence. Another period of relatively high incidence is in people over the age of 65.

What should I do if I suspect a seizure disorder?

If you think you or a loved one might be having seizures, it is important to discuss with your physician what has been happening. Keep a record of how often the unusual episode occurs, the time of day it happens and what form it takes. Giving the doctor this information will help him or her determine if what you are describing might be a type of epilepsy. (http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/)

IVH is described here: In infants (Wikipedia Article, that actually is quite good)

This type of hemorrhage is particularly common in infants, especially premature infants or those of very low birth weight.^[2] The cause of IVH in premature infants, unlike that in older infants, children or adults, is rarely due to trauma. Instead it is thought to result from changes in perfusion of the delicate cellular structures that are present in the growing brain, augmented by the immaturity of the cerebral circulatory system, which is especially vulnerable to hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy. The lack of blood flow results in cell death and subsequent breakdown of the blood vessel walls, leading to bleeding. While this bleeding can result in further injury, it is itself a marker for injury that has already occurred. Most intraventricular hemorrhages occur in the first 72 hours after birth.^[2] The risk is increased with use of extracorporeal membrane oxygenation in preterm infants.^[3]
The amount of bleeding varies. IVH is often described in four grades:

• Grade I - bleeding occurs just in the germinal matrix.
• Grade II - bleeding also occurs inside the ventricles.
• Grade III - ventricles are enlarged by the blood. (ßAiden’s Grade)
• Grade IV - there is bleeding into the brain tissues around the ventricles.

Grades I and II are most common, and often there are no further complications. Grades III and IV are the most serious and may result in long-term brain injury to the infant. After a grade III or IV IVH, blood clots may form which can block the flow of cerebrospinal fluid, leading to increased fluid in the brain (hydrocephalus).
There has been various therapies employed into preventing the high rates of morbidity and mortality, including diuretic therapy ^[4], repeated lumbar puncture ^[5], streptokinase therapy ^[6] and most recently combination a novel intervention DRIFT (drainage, irrigation and fibrinolytic therapy). DRIFT has been tested in an international randomised clinical trial, although it did not significantly lower the need for shunt surgery, severe cognitive disability at 2 years Bayley (MDI <55) was significantly reduced ^[7]. Repeated Lumbar punctures is used widely to reduce the effects in increased intracranial pressure and an alternative to ventriculo-shunt (VP) surgery that cannot be preformed incase of intraventricular haemorrhage. The relative risk of repeated lumbar puncture is close to 1.0 therefore it is not statistically when compared to conservative management and does raise the risk of subsequent CSF infection ^[8].

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intraventricular_hemorrhage for the full article.

A Premature Baby's Prayer

God bless the little child behind the plastic wall

For all he knows is the ringing of the bells and

the blurred images around him. He has been taken

from my womb without warning and I long to hold him

in my arms.

Lord, I ask in your name that my child be healed.

I am willing to accept your decision no matter what

it will be. I am willing to take on the responsibilities

for caring for this child. I am willing to give this

child love and understanding no matter the cost.

Please Lord help me to accept reality and what has

happened without explanation or warning. Help me

face the fact that this is not my fault and that

I was given a special task to complete here on Earth.

God give my child the strength to make it through another

second, minute, hour and day as each moment is

a blessing and a triumph from heaven.

God, may you give the strength and compassion

to the caregivers and nurses that take care of my child

May you keep my child protected and free from all injury

and pain.

Please take away the guilt and burden from my heart dear

Lord. It is heavy and I feel it is all my fault.

Take it away dear Lord. Sweet Jesus allow me the strength

and understanding I need to communicate with the Doctors

and Nurses.

As you see dear Lord, I am at your mercy for the life of

my child. Please leave him here on Earth and know that

I will provide all the love and understanding that

this child needs. I accept the challenge and will be

your humble servant dear Lord.

~Author unknown~

Good night friends,

J